Bridal Bitching: Ceremony Welcome Drinks

Getting married takes a TOLL on one’s sanity. Everyone warns you it will be hard on you and your relationship and I thought they were all nuts. Yah, but WE are different.

UM, no.

Planning a wedding was a rollercoaster of emotions. One second I was looking at my fiance’ thinking how did I land the most romantic, perfect, thoughtful man in the world? Then literally the next second I was thinking of places to bury the body because I wanted to kill him.

I remember the wednesday… WEDNESDAY… before our Saturday wedding, my then fiance’ called me to tell me that he was canceling all rentals for our cocktail hour to “save money”. As much as I admired his jew-ness, hello, it was a few days before the wedding and we had this proposal for months. AND PEOPLE NEEDED PLACES TO SIT AND TABLES TO REST THEIR DRINKS ON, GOD DAMNIT! Still not over that unneeded stress days before our nuptials.

Oh, and we kept the rentals. Duh.

Getting married was a pain in my ass, but having my girlfriends around who had gotten married before and were there to give me tips was so freaking helpful. I remember stressing over small, tedious things that my friends told me to forget about and looking back I am so thankful I had them around to help guide me.

SOOOO… (this is going somewhere, promise) I’m going to start a series called Bridal Bitching to pass along some of my wedding wisdom and I will try and keep it as non-basic as possible. I decided on the name Bridal Bitching because most of what I did during wedding planning was… complaining. AKA Bitching. #clever

The first installment of this series, I’m going to be talking about Ceremony Welcome Drinks.

We went to a wedding in Houston during the floods that happened in 2015 and the ride over was a little stressful because water was rising fast. Upon arrival to the venue, we were all greeted with drinks. GENIUS. This was the first wedding I had ever been to with welcome drinks at the CEREMONY. I was inspired.

Our caterer wouldn’t serve drinks at our ceremony site because their insurance only covers serving alcohol if you also serve food as well. Perfect for the rest of the night but I did not want to serve apps before the ceremony because it was more money and just didn’t make sense to me.

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Photo by Alissa Noelle Photography

So I got creative.

I went to our local liquor store and priced out champagne splits. It actually ended up only being $3 a bottle so I ordered them and drove them up to Santa Barbara for our wedding. I also got really cheap gold straws on Amazon, wooden fans (because it was outside, with no shade) and had a lot of leftover napkins from a bridal shower to place with the champagne splits. It was perfect because I didn’t need anyone to serve them, I just had them chilled up until the time of the ceremony and had my coordinator set them out. He took some creative liberties on the decorations of the table but honestly I didn’t give a shit. That is a low key tip I will give you, your vision is all you think about for a year and the day of, just let go and let people do shit for you.

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One of the splits with the wooden fans. Photo by Alissa Noelle Photography

A lot of people judged me for my idea when I told them leading up to the wedding, they thought it was ‘tacky’ and an un-needed expense but I was dead set on it. I wanted our wedding to be super welcoming and FUN and drinks during the ceremony would set the tone of the night for me. What is better after getting off a bus ride through Santa Barbara to champagne overlooking the ocean? NOTHING. At the end of the day, I was right and the judgers were wrong.

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Photo by Alissa Noelle Photography

People have tons of opinions when it comes to your wedding and when it comes down to it, it’s your day and it’s a wedding, essentially just the biggest party you (hopefully) ever through. Why are people so serious about weddings? They’re supposed to be FUN. We played Classic Rock during our ceremony, had our guests already drinking, and our officiant quoted Christmas Vacation. It was perfectly us and what we wanted our day to feel like. Respect people’s opinions about your wedding but do YOU.

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Our guests raided the champagne before our photographer even had a chance to capture it. Photo by Alissa Noelle Photography

So to sum it all up, serve the welcome drinks. Find a way to make it work if you are given roadblocks, get creative. Trust your vision and do what makes you and your partner happy.

Lastly, make it FUN.

Hope this helps some poor bridezilla in the midst of a bridal breakdown.. I feel you girl!

Cheers!! xox

 

 

 

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Bridal Bitching: Dress Shopping

So last week we introduced the Bridal Bitching series, the series where I give you my best tips I learned from planning my own wedding. Yeah, this Type B bitch planned a wedding, it CAN be done people!

This week, let’s chat about dress shopping.

Going in to the process, I thought that this would be the absolute hardest part of planning a wedding… I was surprisingly wrong. I approached dress shopping very methodically and think I did a pretty good job so here are some of my tips. Saddle up with a spicy marg, this one’s gonna be long!

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Yikes… this one is… not good.

RESEARCH

I did a SHIT ton of research on dresses. By research, I mean I stalked Instagram, Pinterest, and wedding websites for dresses I liked and then noted the designer. I knew I wanted something unique, flattering, and some what classic but wasn’t obsessed with a certain style (mermaid, ballgown, etc).

Wedding dresses all start to look the same after a while so to be honest, I was mostly underwhelmed just looking at dresses on other people… but that all changes once you put them on.

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My face says it all. No.

APPOINTMENTS

We were going to be visiting family in Dallas over Thanksgiving so I thought it would be a good time to do a first round of dress shopping. I googled which salons in Dallas had the designers I liked most from stalking/researching and just made appointments at those salons.

Even if you’re not dead set on a designer, this helps to just filter out salons because there are tons you can choose from, and most likely if they carry a designer you like, they will carry other designers with similar styles.

I only made appointments at two salons because I truly didn’t think I would find it on the first try and I am also lazy and was most concerned with getting margaritas at some point during the day.

**Side note: ask about try on policies and pictures policies. I know some places only let you try on a limited number of dresses and won’t allow pictures. If this is something that may bug you, then take note.**

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Cute… Just not for me.

SALON TIME

Okay, are they even actually called Bridal Salons? I keep saying it and feels right but I could be wrong, can someone Google that for me?

Anyways, once you get to the bridal salon or whatever you want to call it, most likely they will pair you with a sales consultant. I lucked out and got good people helping me but if you’re a picky bitch (#respect) then maybe tell the salon that when making an appointment because you want someone who will be able to work with you easily.

At both salons, my girl let me pick out any gown I wanted. She helped to guide me a little but for the most part, she kind of let my mom, sisters, and me have at it. I HIGHLY suggest trying stuff on that isn’t exactly what you would have imagined.

I totally thought I would end up with a full skirt and have a total bridal moment but I got the exact opposite. You want to keep an open mind because even though you like it on the hanger/another bride/a model, it might not always be flattering on you.

Don’t be afraid to be 100% honest with your consultant too, they can be a good buffer between you and the guests you brought along to try on dresses, especially if they’re bossy guests (aka moms, grandmas, mother in laws, sisters, angry friends, etc). If you hate a dress your mom picked out, tell the consultant in the dressing room and then she can help have your back when you tell mom, hell to the nah.

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Too girly.

PICTURES

My two sisters were there and took a million pictures for me. We shared them in an iCloud Photo Album so only we had access to them and I could go back and look at the different dresses I tried on.

Also, my sisters took pictures of me from every angle, not just the flattering ones. On your wedding day, people will be snapping pics of you when you’re not looking (especially old people) and if you have to suck it in the entire time for you to look good in the dress, you’ll probably hate yourself later. When you’re drinking, visiting, dancing, you WILL forget to suck it in and probably will regret that look. Another important thing about pictures is that when you’re having dress regret (we’ll talk more about that later) you can go back and look at all the other shitty dresses and realize you made the best choice.

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Not bad!! Just didn’t feel this one.

DECISION

Okay, this part is different for everyone. I loved the very last dress of the day that I tried on. It was unique, very flattering, and exactly what I never knew I wanted. After that dress, I thought about the other dresses a little but this one felt right so instead of trying on a million more dresses, I just pulled the trigger and went with it.

A lot of my friends didn’t have it so easy. They took weeks sometimes MONTHS to try on dresses at 10+ salons and had a hard time deciding.

My advice to people who are having that experience is this:

a. You are most likely NOT a celeb and this dress is not going to reinvent the wheel. I am all about a fashion moment but at some point, the difference between dresses is so slight that it’s only going to matter to you.

b. It is all about YOU. Pick what YOU like. Definitely respect people’s opinions but you are the one that is wearing it so make that a main priority. (Side Note: my dress is a slight blush color and someone very close to us made that a huge deal leading up to the wedding and you just have to remember that not everyone is going to love it.)

c. Keep price in mind. I was of the mindset that didn’t really give a shit about price which is… not smart. It is just a dress and you don’t want that shit eating in to your flower budget or even worse, alcohol budget.

d. Ask about alterations and how much that will approximately cost. I had no idea how expensive alterations were on wedding dresses (like, $1,000+ expensive). Some dresses will cost more to alter than others so that can help with coming to a decision.

e. (Last one, prommies) Which one do you look best in? Seriously, think about it. I loved this poofy Hayley Paige dress and was torn between it and the one I chose. The poofy dress was just not as flattering on me and I think made me look bigger than I am so that helped me make my decision too.

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LOVED this one, had a hard time saying no to it.

PURCHASING

Okay, so you picked the dress, thank GOD, we have all been waiting for you to make up your mind. Now it’s time to pull out that CC and hit ’em up style. Here are a couple tips that I learned to cut costs a little.

A lot of my friends purchased their dress and then had it shipped to another state to avoid sales tax. Sales tax adds up when you’re spending thousands of dollars so this a good way to save some money.

Here’s my #1 advice to cut costs…

I purchased my dress semi-used.

Hear me out.

I LOVED my dress and when I tried it on at the salon and saw the price almost died. The cost was just not worth the reward to me so I was prepared to move on. My mom was probably more obsessed with that dress than I was and did some hard core internet digging. She found a dress shop in Florida that was selling their sample of the dress I wanted for 50% OFF.

They said that we could purchase the dress and once it got to my house, I had 7 days to make a decision and if I wasn’t satisfied with the quality then I could send it back.

I got the dress and looked it over with a fine tooth comb, made all my friends look at it, FaceTimed out of state friends to show them any concerns and they all were shocked in the great condition it was in. The only sign of wear was at the bottom of the dress from dust in the store and that part was going to have to be cut off anyways because I am fairly short.

So, yeah. I had a semi-used dress but it was 100000% worth it… and no one knew until I told them.

Okay, so here is the dress I went with!

Are you still with me? I know this was a long one but I hope it helped in some way!

Have you been wedding dress shopping before? Do you have any tricks of the trade that I didn’t mention? Help some sistas out!

Cheers!

xoxo

Don’t Be A Taylor

I’m about as basic as they come so obviously I have been watching the Bachelor… since it started. I like to think of it as my most relatable/blue collar/American hobby. Housewives can be polarizing, but the Bachelor? Now THAT is entertainment for the people.

Anywho, every season of The Bachelor has a villian and that’s why we invited Corinne.

Oh, Corinne.

She is the girl who “runs a multi-million dollar company” (read: her parents let her sit in their home office and open up Excel files) and has a nanny who allegedly makes the best cheese pasta (can the people get a recipe?).

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Corinne is the kind of girl who gets what she wants and does what she wants. While the rest of these bitches are busy faking a smile and WAITING for a chance to hang out with Nick, Corinne pulls him aside in a trench coat and lingerie and makes him lick whipped cream off her tits. While everyone is at a pool party with Nick, she takes him aside and straddles him in a hot pink bounce house. Talk about making an impression and setting yourself a part.

Now, anyone who has ever seen a season of the Bachelor OR been in a group of females OR has a functioning brain knows, these are things that will NOT make you friends. BUT, duh, Corinne is not here to make friends.

Corinnes never are.

But where there are Corinnes, there will always be Taylors.

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Taylor is a mental health professional. She is 23 and FRESH out of college and full of mental health jargon. Taylor fucking LOVES to analyze Corinne, bitch about Corinne, and talk down to Corinne. The thing Taylor should be doing more of, is NOT TALKING ABOUT CORINNE.

Taylor. Tay. Tay Tay. Honey. DO LESS. CARE LESS. GIVE LESS OF A FUCK.

I remember being in High School and liking a guy that another girl liked. Back in the day, I was a little less confident (yet SO much skinnier, ugh Taco Bell, you bitch) and always wondered why the guys went for the more aggressive girls. Hello, didn’t they see that I was the good girl and they were just skanks?

NO.

 

Even when I was friends with the guys I liked and talked shit about said skanks putting themselves out there, it said more about ME then it did about them.

Yes, those girls were actually skanks and yes I am actually the catch of a lifetime but here’s where Taylor and I both went wrong. We gave too much of a shit about the other girl and less of a shit about ourselves.Confidence is key, peeps! Corinne has been pumped full of confidence probably since she exited her mother’s vag.

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Corinne does not give a shit.

For everything in life. Care less about shit and care more about positivity and yourself.

 

 

The point of this is not to be self involved and reckless like Corinne, unless you want to be, I don’t give a shit! That’s the point, to give less of a shit about shit that doesn’t matter. Shit!

It is to be less of a Taylor. Focus on yourself. Focus on positivity. I promise you that is more attractive then any other quality. This is coming from a married woman who’s husband can’t stand that my main form of entertainment is women tearing one another down (#relaxation). I need to take my own advice sometimes and give less of a shit.

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So let’s give less of a shit, together? 2017, new year, new us.

(But we’re not giving up reality TV… duh.)

To end this masterpiece I wrote over a bottle of wine, I give you this amazing gif of Corinne and Kim Zolciak Jr chowing down.

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Boo to Boring Bachelorette Parties

As a one time Maid of Honor, there is a lot of pressure to plan the Bachelorette party for your bestie. You want the weekend to run smoothly & be entertaining, not be too basic, and now with social media, there is this added pressure to make every little detail worthy to share with your followers. The decorations are going to set the tone for the party. Nothing is more fun for the bride than to walk into a room that is completely decorated with her in mind.

Now, that being said, there is one thing NOT to do when decorating for a Bachelorette party, and that is making it boring.

Pin the tail on the penis is boring. Pin the tail on the penis after taking a shot of tequila and taping a picture of your best friend’s loser ex that still lives in your hometown is hilarious.

Candy in the gift bags is boring. Candy soaked in vodka for the last week in the gift bags is nectar from the gods.

Are you following me?

It’s easy to get sucked in to the Etsy K-hole filled with hot pink penises & “Miss to Mrs” banners, so I am here to help you get creative with your decor. Here are some slightly basic but not at all boring Bachelorette Party decor that screams “saddle up bitches, we’re getting drunk this weekend” and not “my fiance’s totally making fun of how boring this weekend is while he is getting lap dances in Reno”.

Okay that was too far, here we go.

 

 

First things first, I like to have a decorated space where you can take pics before going out. This is the most basic sentence I have ever typed (that is saying a lot). For real though, I really think this adds to the party and makes it feel special.

Please, for the love of God, if you’re going to get a banner, make it funny. I love this Shit Just Got Real banner because you’re going to be mushy at the actual wedding and this is the time to celebrate the bride before that shit. I have also seen ones that say Same Penis Forever or the company I have linked below could even customize one for you, get creative and raunchy!

We also made the personalized balloons below for my best friend’s bach because she is obsessed with her dog but it could be funny to put a bad pic of the groom with the words “FORRRREVERRRRR” under it. I am also obsessed with Mylar balloons and this zebra one is so glam & fun, the website linked also has tons of other options like champagne bottles and cacti.

Zebra Mylar, Real Banner, Personalized Balloons

 

Guys, I can not stress DETAILS enough. Even when it comes to eating & drinking, try and take it to the next level. The rose gold plastic forks mixed with the black & white straws are right up my alley & CHEAP on Amazon. They are girly without being hot pink (gag) & purple (gaggier) and add a little glam (hate myself for saying that). These disco ball cups are also EVERYYYthing. I am obsessed with them, they would make amazing party favors (only $8 each, not bad) & so cute for photo ops especially on Polaroid film, so 70’s.

Rose Gold Forks, Disco Cups, Black & White Straws

 

A drunk piñata moment is really underrated, this is the perfect time to pre-game with the girls and get the night started. I also just thought of a really good idea for a game, first you blindfold the girl & make her take a shot, spin her around 3 times, ask her a question about the bride & if she gets it right then she gets to try and hit the piñata. If she gets it wrong, maybe you could push her in the pool, I don’t know, your call. Fill the piñata up with things like mini alcohol, the bride’s favorite snack (mine would totally have hot cheetos in it), Advil, personalized sunglasses with the bride’s name on it, etc. Screw candy, get creative & think outside the box.

Cactus Piñata, Baby Donk Piñata, Unicorn Piñata

 

So the next three items are random but hear me out. The drinking buddies are just cute little drink markers, women get objectified all the time so if we can’t beat ’em, let’s just join them and objectify men right back. Each guy has a douchey little name on his butt like Josh (Joshes are always douches, right? #JoshMurray). Drinkwel is from the same company that makes LyteShow which is a HANGOVER SAVIOR. Take these vitamins before & after drinking with water and it will help you survive a 3 day bender. These are essential for goody bags and people will thank you & you will thank yourself. I also really love these laser cut signs, super un-necessary but fun and a great way to promote the weekend’s hashtag. YES, you need a hashtag. People will be stalking your pics all weekend so take these out to the bars with you and make hott guys pose with them.

Drinking Buddies, Drinkwel, Insta Signs

 

I really appreciate a good Bachelorette party decoration and if you are planning a Bachelorette party any time soon, I hope this helps you find some inspiration. What is the best party decoration or party detail you have seen? Let me know below, I am always looking for new ideas.

Cheers! xoxo

How to Plan a Bachelorette Party Part 2

Last week we started the discussion on planning a Bachelorette party. After being a MOH this past year, planning the bachelorette party was one of the most important parts. I Googled articles looking for tips and there was nothing relatable, it all seemed a little fake and just a bunch of fluff.

I hope this brings the realness and helps you out!

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We’re picking up where we left off last week and starting with lodging for the weekend.

I come from a family of all girls, I was in a sorority and lived with 90 girls in a house, I always lived with girl roommates, so I am totally cool with cramming a shit ton of girls in a house and seeing what happens. Now, this is not for everyone. I would take in to consideration the age of people that are coming, their budgets, and people’s sleeping arrangements. I personally prefer renting a house on AirBnB or VRBO. It’s usually cheaper & easier to coordinate the money & payment schedule because everything is on one check. I would say if you are in your early 20’s, girls will be more willing to cram in to a space. If you are in your later 20’s or older, I think most people are going to want their own space or to share it with less people. I once crammed 6 girls in to a tiny room at the Flamingo and we slept 3 to a full size bed. I was 23 and out of my mind and would never do that again. We got a huge house in the Hollywood hills for mine and there was only 2 girls to a room and we had plenty of room to spread out. An added bonus for getting a house, you can cook meals at home to save money and if your house has a pool, that is added entertainment & less money for activities!

The part that I was stressed about planning the most was the activities. I felt pressure to entertain all these girls, some I barely knew, all weekend AND make it unforgettable for my bestie bride. First, get an idea for what the bride wants. I’m not a big fancy dinner person and much prefer brunch. Also, I just wanted all my friends to just chill around the pool, get drunk, laugh at each other and be laid back. My sisters planned a BBQ the day everyone got in, then we went to a karaoke bar that night. The next day we day drank all day at brunch (I will do a whole post on my Bachelorette party if you want! It was a crazy Hollywood Hills experience with lots of hot cheetos, gay clubs, and Tito’s vodka). Easy, fun, so me. In planning my friend’s party, she wanted a more chic vibe with clubs, good meals, good conversation, more of a Miami situation.

 

I think you should choose an activity to kick off the weekend the first night. While people were getting in that first day, we just hung out and drank at the pool. We then planned a nice dinner out where we all got to know each other and then got bottle service (someone in the group will know how to get in touch with a promoter, if not FIND ONE if you’re planning on going to a club. So cheap and free alcohol!! You will only be responsible for tip, usually $200ish total, not per girl). The next day, we went to a fabulous brunch, ate our faces off at Cecconi’s, then the bride wanted some time by the pool before we went out.

Another tip I would give is try to do one surprise for the bride. It will be a hit and make her feel special. I chose to get my friend a little person stripper. This is not for everyone and unless you know how your bride will react, I wouldn’t suggest it. My friend has an amazing sense of humor and it was a hit. One party I went to, we all surprised her with a limo for a day drinking bar crawl which was a blast as well. Just know your bride.

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Okay… Last step in planning. My least favorite. MONEY. People are super sensitive about money and it can get super messy so do yourself a favor and be super upfront with the group. I would suggest payment plan options for lodging. Splitting up the payments will help the girls to afford it by not asking for a big chunk all at once. As far as expenses go, If you are good with money, have a couple big meals planned and also are going to buy alcohol for the house, I would suggest a “Kitty”. I don’t know where that name came from but it basically just means people pay you up front for some of the meals. I have given $2-300 to the MOH and she uses it to pay for alcohol/food for the house and puts it towards our meals out so we didn’t have to worry about the check.

Another option is to just pay as you go. I prefer this because I am shit with budgeting. I just asked for some money up front which helped with decorations and snacks/alcohol for the rooms and then after that, I had the girls use Venmo for meals. I HIGHLY suggest Venmo. A lot of places won’t let you split the check with big groups so you can just put it all on your Credit Card and then send each girl there a Venmo request for the split check. SUPER easy, girls also always have an opinion on what the money they are giving you is going to so the pay as you go feature is a little easier/popular amongst the group.

After writing this post, I was feeling a little nostalgic and wanting to plan an imaginary Bachelorette party for myself so I decided to add a bonus post all about non-boring bachelorette party decor. As my girl Vicki Gunvalson would say, WooHooooo!

Cheers! xoxo

 

 

 

 

Britney: A Love Story

This is a story about a girl named Britney…

I am somewhat of a Britney Spears expert. If Britney was a wine, I would be a sommelier. If Britney was a subject at a junior college, I would be the professor. I frequently reference her in daily conversations, like “I’m just feeling like this guy is pulling a Sam Lufti on you and you need to be careful” or “Is this messy bun more Piece of Me music video? or Walking into a gas station bathroom barefoot?”. So come along with me as I recount Britney’s rise (and fall and rise) to stardom all from my sick memory of this bitch’s life.

I will never forget the first time I saw … Baby One More Time on TRL after school. Sexy school girls? Groundbreaking. Mothers across the world were up in arms at the sight of a 16 year old girl showing her midriff. You have to understand kids, back in the day, Miley was still in the womb and hadn’t poisoned her mind by licking lead hammers and fornicating with foam fingers. It was a more innocent time.

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Baby One More Time hurled Britney into stardom. She started dating her former costar from the Mickey Mouse Club, Justin Timberlake, who also happened to be a pop star and member of *NSYNC. She had the iconic MTV VMA performances, the Pepsi commercials, the music videos, the full on matching denim ensemble with Justin. She even had a Blockbuster smash, Crossroads where she got out of her comfort zone by playing a girl from a small southern town that has a talent for singing. We all hung on Britney’s every move, Britney was the fucking shit in the early 2000’s.

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Then, there was the breakup.

After boning a dancer (this will be a reoccurring problem for Brit) who happened to be JT’s bestie, they broke up. The country wept. Imagine the feelings you had learning of Yolanda & David Foster’s divorce and times that by matching outfits and highlights, it was a complete tragedy. How could this happen? Their moms were friends, they were each other’s first loves, they sang alongside Steven Tyler in the mother fucking Super Bowl Halftime show for God’s sake!!!!!!

As the country wept, Brit worked through her break up the only way she knew how. Making more music and Making out with Madonna! Talk about a comeback! (another reoccurring theme in Brit’s life) This bitch bounced back from the breakup with a hit album, probably the most iconic performance EVER, and her bod was kickin’. Things were on the up & up!

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Then… Marriages ensued.

You can take the girl out of Kentwood but you can’t take the Kentwood out of the girl, y’all. This bitch goes to Vegas and marries her childhood friend. Obviously, her team of people did damage control ASAP and the marriage was annulled, but come the fuck on, Brit. THEN only a couple months later, she puts out this weird ass reality show that she filmed on a handheld and gets married to a backup dancer (see…dancer, again) named KEVIN FEDERLINE. (Who had just broken up with his pregnant girlfriend.) and went on to have two kids.

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We all looked on confused. What was our girl doing? Kevin Federline was grimy and a wanna be Eminem… What did she see in him? What did he want from her? They got married in a fucking living room and the bridal party all wore matching Juicy Couture sweatsuits. Couldn’t she see this wasn’t going to last? But Britney looked happy and we all watched on and couldn’t turn away from this impending trainwreck (and I’m not talking about Kevin’s “hit” PopoZao).

Then shit hit the fan.

Kids, to make a long story short, Britney lost her damn mind. Just Google Sam Lufti. She shaved her head and beat a paparazzi’s car with an umbrella, it was fucking insane. She put out an album called “Blackout” probably because she was blacked out when she made it and opened the VMA’s (again, probably blacked out) with the worst performance of all time. It seemed like we had lost our girl… America’s sweetheart had become the butt of the jokes.

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You can’t keep this bitch down, though.

The comeback queen came out with a documentary and spoke candidly about the dark ages and it seemed our Britney was back! She talked openly about her relationships with Justin and Kevin, how she lost her damn mind and was 5150’d, it was some of the most honest moments we had seen from her! She put out Circus, got some extensions, and went back on tour. Slowly, Brit was gaining the trust back from those around her… but not control of her bank account #conservatorship.

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Since 2008, Britney had been on a tight PR leash. She was extremely careful in interviews, a little robot-esque. She will never dance in interviews, NEVER gets personal or talks about the past, and is extremely media groomed. It is like she is a fragile little doll and every interviewer just nods their head with a grin as if to say “you can do it, yes, answer the question” like she is a little puppy.

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Then someone seemed to have given her full reign of her social media. Bitch has been posting google images of fairies and Ann Geddes babies for the past year and really strange videos of her crying when her dog ate her cheese. We are left to think… what the shit. Is she in on the joke? Has her brain permanently stopped aging past the age of 15? Who is running her social media? We may never know…. mostly because no one is ever brave enough to ask her these questions in interviews.

I personally think this is all a plan. All the weird photo montages set to 90’s music, all the crazy videos, all the awkward non-filtered selfies.

Another documentary? Research? A thesis on Celebrities and their affects on Social Media? Maybe? No? Okay, well I am going to keep on liking and will NEVER quit you Brit.

Despite the shitty hair extensions, failed marriages, numerous #1 hits… I will always stand by Britney and purchase every auto-tuned album her perfect little self creates.

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Cheers!! xoxo

 

 

Best Home Decor Finds of the Week

I have always had an obsession with Interior Design. When I was in middle school, I would draw out rooms with decorations & furniture and put together color schemes for them, basically I was vision boarding/Pinterest-ing before it was a thing.

#childgenius

That being said, I am NO expert. Not even close. One of my goals in life is to take design courses to get some basics under my belt but until then, I am just going to scour the internet for fun and interesting finds to feed my soul.

Here are my picks from perusing the internet this week:

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This Dalmatian print plate is such a good find from H&M’s home line (it says leopard print on HM.com, obviously the Swiss do not have leopards because that is not leopard print). I must have been a New Jersey housewife in a past life because I have this obsession with animal print and have to reel it in so I don’t go overboard. I think this print can be super chic when used in the right places and would look awesome on a table at a dinner party paired with my next little find.

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These salt & pepper shakers are NINETY NINE CENTS. LESS THAN A DOLLAR. Mama loves a deal!  Like I said, I love functional items with interest… Hi, glamorous S & P shakers. Get these now.

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I have two Salt & Pepper shakers on this list. Excessive & Frivolous… & necessary. These are from CB2.com and are giving me Patricia Altschul vibes. I want these on my table at a dinner party while Michael the butler brings me my afternoon medicine aka a cocktail. Patricia is on my top 5 people I NEED to have drinks with in my life, anyone who incorporates drinking in to their every day life is #goals.

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This is one of my favorite pictures of Brigitte Bardot ever. I have been looking everywhere for this print of her and finally found it here on Etsy. I know I don’t know a lot about interior design, but I do know that art is expensive but it adds SO much. You can purchase this Ikea frame for $15 and have an easy piece to shake up your space for so cheap.

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I live in a tiny apartment that doesn’t have room for a dining room table but in my head I have one & these beauties are on it. I found these on WaitingForMartha.com and they are inspiring me to do a Palm Springs inspired table setting with oranges, pinks, and greens. In my head, I am very glamorous. #delusional

That is is for now, trust me there will be more! Which piece is your favorite & what is your style of home decor?

Cheers! xoxo