Housewives for President 2016

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It may come as a surprise to some people, but I do try and keep up with current events and politics. Even though I’m not one of those ass clowns that feels the need to post about it on Facebook, I still have some opinions on the Presidential race… and my opinion is that I’m scared for our country. In this joke of a Presidential election, it has me thinking that the Real Housewives franchise could put up some better options than what we have right now.

So I give you, my Top 10 Real Housewives Candidates that I think should run for POTUS:

10. Brandi Glanville – She is the Trump. Our self proclaimed “Truth Cannon”, she’s always willing to say what everyone else is thinking, even if it’s putting out someone’s personal family information. She is all about a charity case (i.e. Kim Richards) and would be the voice of the people.

9. Sonja Morgan – Sonja is on the list because of connections. I’m pretty sure she has mentioned some Prince in Dubai as being one of her friends and she even partied with John F Kennedy JR himself! Also, she has a great last name that she is still desperately holding on to even though her divorce was final years ago. If Sonja won the Presidency, she would also be great at budget cuts by hiring all interns instead of a paid cabinet.

8. Eileen Davidson – Good Ol’ Eileen, the sleeper star of RHOBH. This is someone we need in office; someone who can act, tell really bad jokes, and has an ability to lay low in a scandalous situation. Eileen would be able to avoid scandals and act like she cares about the people, just like a true President! We just need to get those low lights fixed and definitely hire a new stylist.

7. Gia Giudice – Okay, TBH, I needed a RHONJ cast member to round out the demographics and Gia is the most qualified out of everyone in that franchise. She is basically a child song writing prodigy (who can forget this dramatic ballad that brought the crowd to tears) and is definitely the most mature person in the Giudice household. If Gia was running the finances I think there would be two less Italians in Federal Prison, just sayin. It’s safe to say I will be voting Giudice 2040.

6. Vicki Gunvalson – She would obviously be higher on the list had the whole “cancer-gate” not happened. Vicki, as we all know, is a hard worker and would put 100% into her presidency and she has excellent negotiation skills (i.e. The Little Family Van incident). She does have a hot temper but I would just call that passion! Maybe she could be Dubrow’s VP candidate?

5. Countess Luann – “Money can’t buy you class, elegance is earned, my friends”, what a great campaign slogan. I see The Countess being the people’s candidate. Luann is part Native American so we basically owe her ancestors a vote. She also would be great for foreign policies as she knows many political figures abroad. Also, how great would Madame President Countess Luann De Lesepps sound??

4. Bethenny Frankel – The Skinny Girl Queen is the ultimate American Dream. A rags to riches story of a broke girl building her dream into a multi million dollar power house company. The people would trust her with our country’s finances yet would also appreciate B’s “tell it like it is” attitude. I can see it now, her telling ISIS to “Get OFF our jock!”.

3. Phaedra Park – This southern belle has the legal and business background we as a country need in a leader. She is also extremely skilled in giving indirect answers to the tough questions. For example, on Phaedra’s first season on RHOA, there was a lot of talk about how far along she was in her pregnancy with her first son. Phaedra dodged these questions like a champ, evading the answers like a true politician. We need her Southern Charm in the White House, her son’s nickname is even Mr. President.

2. Lisa Vanderpump – If LVP was born on American soil, this could actually happen. She has built over 20 businesses with her husband, Ken Todd (her obvious choice for VP), all over the world. Like the Countess, she would excel in foreign relations. She also is very charitable, look at what she has done with James Kennedy. Vanderpump/Todd 2016!!

1.Heather Dubrow – Obviously, Mrs. Dubrow is our best candidate for presidency for many reasons. First off, she is building an empire for the Dubrow family and can be trusted with building our country back up to where it needs to be. She is very skillful with negotiations & treats every task with importance and precision, as seen on RHOC building her dream house, right down to the knobs on the cabinets. Next, she is very stern and decisive yet has a very feminine appearance which will deem well with the American public. We like our women strong but not too intimidating, and Heather’s charm will win everyone over. Lastly, she has no skeletons in her closet for her campaign manager to try and hide. Dubrow 2016!

 

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